It’s just some random thoughts about time.
I think we can agree that spending time with people you’re fond of is always nice. It will be more valuable when they’re your old acquaintances or people you can’t meet often. Or both.
I always get a mixed feelings every time I’m in that kind of situation. Excited, happy, and sad. Happy to see those people and sad to know we have to part again, that this moment will over. Enjoying the moment to the fullest and at the same time hoping the time to stop. Something that never happen, ahaha.
All those fun, all those memories that suddenly rushing out to your head. All those bonds that suddenly become clear and close, almost touchable. It’s always nice to see all those displays of affection.
But the problem arise after the moment passed.
For me, after spending time with many people, especially ones close with me, I always feel some kind of emptiness. Like being in the middle of the crowd then suddenly being alone in your room. Calming and comfortable but at the same time, make you feel..a little loss?
That switching moment will pass, but it can be quiet suffocating. All those lingering feelings is yesterday’s, and can be a big source of strength, but can also consuming us.
The second thing came to mind is, we do grow up as time goes by.
Things I didn’t realize, I can recognize them clearly now. Things I took for granted, I feel very grateful for it now. People I used to have by my side, things I used to do.
The sad thing is, sometimes we just realized how valuable all of those right after it passed.
A moment like this always made me a little regretful.
I regret because I didn’t treat them better when they were around me.
I regret because I didn’t behave better towards them when they were by my side.
And I regret all the things I didn’t tell them back then.
All the words I can’t convey to them right now.
How thankful I am.
How sorry I am.
How grateful I am for having them in my life,
for being by my side in my hardest time,
for helping me being a better person.
All those words and feelings are tangled all over in my head.
Just like everything else, time will sort it out. By flowing, time gives us a chance to move, to remember, or to forget. To understand better what we’ve been through. To meet new people. To cherish ones we love. To be grateful of what we have. To tell us that change itself is inevitable. To let go of what we should let go.
To let us grow.
Sidoarjo, March 10th 2015